Moments of Thanks #1: Mom
Throughout the month of November, I want to truly remember the season of thankfulness. So, throughout the next few weeks, I will feature Moments of Thanks. Our first edition, the reason I am even able to write in the first place: Mom. Below I will share what she means to me, as I fill the sleeves of her old jean jacket. Through our ups and downs, I know I will never fully be able to understand her sacrifices or why she continues to put her children first.
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Like some, my childhood home faced levels of dysfunctionality (Come on, even Jesus’ family wasn’t perfect). After reading Jeanette Walls, Carrie Sheffield, and hearing the stories of Mark Brown (Comber, Northern Ireland) and Avril Cochran (Vermont) I have begun the journey of family reconnection and forgiveness.
I think a large portion of young people live to escape their family. At 25, I am seeing how that is not wise. Regardless of one’s upbringing, I think there is value in seeing what the family who raised you has done. You can still travel the world, you can still chase the dream job, but never forget, for better or worse, the childhood that made you who you have become. Your parents were once children, teens, twenty-something-year-olds. They had their own crazy upbringings, worries, and fears. Adults are really just grown kids.
My mother had a very difficult childhood. Her biological father walked out on the family after the Vietnam War. Her adoptive father was wonderful, but was gone nine months out of the year to work at sea. So, as my grandmother pursued dancing, my mom was often left at home. At a young age, she had to fill the shoes of two parents to raise her siblings. She sacrificed nights out and irresponsibility to ensure her siblings had care and attention.
As she grew up, she began pursuing college, but struggled financially. She worked late hours at McDonalds, finished assignments at 5am, and headed off to class. At 25, I am trying to understand who young Lyhzz was. Today, I do see her. I see her pain and her strive to make a better life for her kids; spare sufferings for her own daughter.
I recently moved to Pittsburgh to choose community over a career. To be honest, I assumed getting a job would be easy. Great resume, experience, recent master’s degree- wrong. I banquet serve and am now an expert with the public bus system.
While my current paid role may not align with my aspirations… I can proclaim with full honesty that I am thankful to be a server. For one, I get free wedding food and cookies, you cannot beat that. Plus, only working weekends, I have plenty of time to write. But, most importantly, I am seeing my mom. I am understanding how she struggled to pay rent, living paycheck to paycheck. She often skipped meals to afford gas, rent, and bills. I see her- especially when I come home and she sends me away with bags of food; she sees me and I see her.
Last month, I sat in a 90’s themed café, sipping tea as I waited for an interview. While surrounded by the pastel yellow and green walls, I envisioned Lyhzz- 25year old Lyhzz. I was in my mother’s jean jacket, wearing black non-slip shoes, just like she would have done. We may not be famous like the Seinfield or Friends crew, but I can envision how Lyhzz in the 90’s, in her twenties, would have lived.
As I sat in the café, I really wished I had a time machine. I wish I could go back 30 years and speak with my mom in her twenties. What was her way of thinking before she met my dad? How did she act on a night out? Why did she marry my dad? What were her thoughts when she was in a lone, dark car ride home from work?
I see you mom- the search and deep yearning for love and meaning. I can look at you with eyes of compassion and see why you made the decisions you made. I may not agree with everything, but I can begin understanding.
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I hope those in my generation can learn this ideal, sooner rather than later. While there is anywhere and everywhere I can go and live, I am thankful Ohio will always be home, and Lyhzz Sawicki Morar will always be my mom. The reason I encourage celebrating daily holidays, buy impulse gifts to give just because something reminded me of someone, teach with a smile adn intentionalitly- thanks Mom.
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Sacrifices My Mom has made for My Happiness Over the Years:
Here are just a few of the ways my mom has enabled me to live the adventurous and blessed life I have lived thus far. @Mom, feel free to add what I have missed… Everyone else, please send a message below and I will add it to this post: How has your mother or motherly figure sacrificed for you?
*free time
*enjoyable work
*education
*safety
*sanity
*hobbies
*peace of mind
*9 months of pregnancy + a scary/painful birth
*haircuts/new clothes
*vacations
*love
*financial security (those high school trips, lessons, and meals were pricy)
*gas… so many lessons/airports to drive to…
*nice car (sorry about that trunk dent)
*money- lots of money
*gross jobs (cleaning up vomit, birth, cleaning hair out of shower drains)
*time
*sleep
*dreams
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